Jack and Jill
Jill first met Jack one day while she was scrounging around the dumpsters looking for food. Jill was a scruffy black alley cat, and Jack was an even scruffier dog of indeterminate color. Maybe he had been white once, or maybe he had always been gray. Either way, he was now a good camouflage for his surroundings.
“If your name is Jack, then my name is Jill,” the cat said. She had meant it as a sarcastic comment, but the name stuck. “Your name should be Mop, because that’s what you look like.”
“No,” the dog insisted. “Master calls me Jack, so that is my name.”
“Whatever you say, Mop.”
“It’s JACK!” Jack bared his teeth, causing Jill to take two steps back and bare hers ever so slightly.
“Fine, fine, whatever you say JACK. You can call me Jill, but bear your teeth at me again, and you will fall down and break your crown.”
Jack went back to moping next to the dumpster, while Jill carefully scuttled over him, and dug through the trash.
“Hey, you want any of this, or are you just going to sit there and be in the way?” Jill called out to Jack.
Jack remained still. “No, I’m alright, I’m waiting for Master.”
“Whatever you say, Jack,” Jill said yet again.
The next day, Jill was back at the Dumpster, and so was Jack.
“Are you still waiting for your Master?” Jill asked. Jack nodded his head.
“Yeah, cool, look could you go wait for Master over there a little or something? You’re sitting on the best part of the dumpster here, and if you don’t want it . . .”
Jill nudged Jack in the side. She tried harder this time, and Jack moved surprisingly easily.
“Good gods!” Jill exclaimed. “You bony thing, take something from the Dumpster, before it’s all gone!”
Jack said simply “Must wait, Master will come.”
“To this Dumpster?” Jill was incredulous. “Why the hell would he do that?”
“Master loves Jack,” was all Jack would say.
“Okay, whatever you say Jack,” Jill said before slinking away.
Jill came back later that day. “Hey Jack, you mangy mutt!” she yelled. “The other cats are all saying you’ve been here for days, waiting for Master! Don’t you think it’s time you let it go? Forget Master, go get yourself some food! You’re a predator, a creature of the night like me . . . only . . . not as . . . well . . . lacking a certain feline grace, but whatever.”
Jack shook his head. “We cannot let Master down again. I will wait for him, wait with him. I will not leave him.”
“Yeeeahh, honorable and all that, but don’t you think he’s left you?”
“No!” Jack said. “He hasn’t!”
“Jack, forget your master. You’re a dog, you don’t need a master to look after you. You can look after yourself! Look at me! I’ve never had a master, and I’m all the better for it! I hunt for my own food, clean my own fur, fight my own fights, y’know I’ve got it made! You don’t need a master!”
“I cannot leave my Master,” Jack replied.
“Look here. I’m assuming your master was human.”
“The best Human!”
“Yeah well, you wanna know who tamed humans? It was us, the cats! Yes, everyone thinks it was the other way around, humans tamed cats, but no. We tamed them. Before we started living with them, they were a barbaric race, no common sense or decency in them at all. But then we came and tamed them. You think your Master would’ve been such a nice Master if we cats hadn’t tamed his race? No, of course not.
“See, humans can’t live on their own. That’s why many of them still live with cats. We keep them tame, y’see. Some of my friends are tasked with this job. But if it weren’t for cats, humans would return to their barbaric ways.
“Of course some humans feel the need to keep dogs around, because they want to feel like they can be in charge of another species’ fate, just as we are in charge of theirs. But you don’t need that. Cut yourself free Jack, face the world as a free dog!”
“No, Master loved me! He would not leave me, and I will not leave him!”
Jill sighed. “Well eat something soon Jack, Master would want you to.”
The next day, Jill returned, this time with a dead rat in her mouth. She lay it in front of Jack. “Eat it!” Jill insisted. Jack was still. “Eat it!” Jill hissed. “Look, I don’t usually treat homeless mutts as though they were my kitten, so take advantage of it while you can.”
Jack munched on the rat for a little while. He was not used to eating fresh meat, but he was so hungry that he didn’t really care at this point. “Thanks,” Jack said hoarsely.
“Oh don’t mention it,” Jill said. “Seriously, don’t mention this to anybody. If word gets out that I’m feeding stray dogs, I’ll never hear the end of it. I’ll lose my street cred, I’ll lose that corner on Second Avenue, and that corner has been mine to patrol for years!”
“You’re being nice to me,” said Jack.
“Yeah well, like I said . . . don’t mention it. And anyway, I realized something.” They were silent for a short while. It seemed like a long while. “You’re not actually waiting for your Master, are you.”
Jack looked at Jill.
“It’s more like you’re waiting . . . on . . . him . . .”
Another long silence.
“He’s dead, isn’t he,” Jill said, “your master.”
Jack nodded. “Yes,” he said, his voice shaky.
“I knew it,” Jill said. “I’ve heard about this before, dogs mourning their Master’s passing.”
Yet another long silence.
“You know you have to move on, right?” Jill said. “I know you’re loyal to your Master and all, but you can’t die with him.”
“He’s here,” Jack said. “Master is here. He was a very good Master, and I was always there for him. But then he died. A sickness. And I did nothing. He was taken to a funeral home and cremated. He was an old man, he had no friends, no family. No one came for his ashes, and no one came for me. So they dumped his ashes here in this dumpster, so this is where I wait.”
The silence that followed this revelation was the longest so far.
“Look,” Jill said. “what I realized is that dogs are dogs, and cats are cats. Cats don’t need masters, but dogs do, because that’s just the way dogs are. And humans need cats, because that’s how humans are, and there’s no shame in that. But for the love of all the gods, stop moping! Find yourself a new master. It’s what your old one would’ve wanted anyway.”
Jack looked up at Jill. “Will you be my new Master?”
Jill jumped. “What? A cat . . . master of a dog? Are you out of your—the cats of Second Avenue would—” Jill paused. A devilish smile came over her face, a smile that only a cat can smile. “The cats of Second Avenue would surely not mess with me if I had a dog under my paw!”
Jack wagged his tail. “You’ll be my master?”
“Dog must have master, cat must have her street corner, if this is the way of the world, then so it shall be. Come with me Jack. Just don’t embarrass me. And don’t—bounce so much. And first things first, I’m giving you a bath.”
Jack whimpered.
“Oh don’t complain Jack, it is definitely what your old master would’ve wanted.”
